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Nina

Did the ETC surgery - wierd feeling

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Hi everyone! My time to share. :-)  

So I got the T2 nerve cut yesterday. 

My hands are nice, dry and warm, which made me cry just after the operation, because I always had cold and clammy hands.

CS - non so far

I feet are really cold, but they have always been that, so no change there I guess. 

I have a lot of pain in my chest and back, but nothing I worry about. The painkillers take the edge off. 

I will continue to post on my progress. 

BL - I haven't blushed so far, but its also just 24 hours ago since I had the nerves cut

I have something I would like to aks/share with people who went through the operation: 

I feel kind of wierd.. Almost sad today. I guess its a mixture of fearing the side effects, and this wierd feeling of  having chosen the "easy why out". Please dont get me wrong, I chose the surgery because I felt like I was not really living.  Suffering from constant anxiety of blushing feels like being in a warzone everyday, and at some point you just cant do it no more.  I know there is no easy way out... But there was a point in my life, where I didnt really blush for a year, and if I did it just didnt bother me that much... However that was when i was traveling. When you have to live in a society like ours where we are socialized to shame people who blush and you bumb into people all the time, blushing easily will at some point get the best of you.  I guess I feel sad because blushing has been my identity for 10 years. I feel more like a "blusher" than I feel like i belong to any other categorization.  An in a way it feels a bit empty and unsatisfying to "just" cut the nerve. Like what were all those years of suffering for then. In a way I dont feel like I know who I am anymore, and I guess that is what scares me. You know, I been holding on to that suffering for so long, that I'm a bit afraid that I dont know how to live without it. And Also I dont like the feeling that a nerve in my body had been cut. It scare me a bit. 

Did any of you who went through the surgery feel anything like this? Or can you relate in any way? Some words of comfort would really be appreciated. 

 

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I hope ETS continues to be a good decision for you.

You have not chosen the easy way out by any means, its a horrible thing to live with day in day out, you know that first hand.

Maybe now would be a good time to seek something like CBT therapy to change your mindset. 

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Thank you for your reply Mojow, 

I needed to hear that from someone who knows what it is like.  A few words of comfort means a lot to me right now. 

I have actually already contacted a therapist in the hope of just that. I thought I would feel relief but I just feel emptiness. And I guess thats one thing the therapist can help me with, even though my last CBT therapist didnt help me to get rid of the blushing, they sure are good at working miracles with emotional change. I put my hope in the thought of that for now. 

Of all things I wasnt expecting to feel sad after the surgery. Thats one thing nobody on this forum has mentioned when sharing there stories of ETS. 

I cant recall, dig you go through with ETS Mojow? 

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Nope I have never has the surgery but as someone who blushes at most things day to day I can only imagine the emptiness felt when the blushing has gone.

Maybe it will all take time to get used to the new you.

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Right I guess everyone in here-  ETS or not - can relate to that feeling. The identity emptiness is one thing the other thing is the fear for what side effects might come. However I must just take one day at a time and not worry about it. For now my body is just as before except for dry hands and no blushing.  Maybe I will be lucky. 

Thats for relating Mojow. 

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well, good luck in your journey :) *(i hope it never comes back for you)

Yeah, i've thought too of the feeling of someone would get after surgery and the emptiness switching from one lifestyle full of fear from little things to something completely new. It is like somebody would start life from the beginning :P 
Dont overthink the past, try to test if it has totally gone (it takes a lot of courage, i know )

im curious what is the first thing you did or will do ?

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Thanks TerryKof - did it come back for you ? :o

I have to do a presentation at the university tomorrow, so I'll guess I will find out if its really gone then. My doctor said I would percieve it like im blushing for the next couple of weeks until my mindset will adapt to the fact than Im actually not blushing. However, that will then be my first presentation ever without having to spend all my mental energy on worrying about going beet red. Im both excited and terrified as I dont know if I'll blush or not. 

 

1. Just sitting down a the dinner table with the people I live with and tell a story ( taking the word at the dinner table would often make me blush)

2. When I have healed up a bit I want to go on a date and be the confident person I actually am without the blushing

... and letting go of all the little tricks I use to avoid blushing I guess 

hmm good question it made me focus on the positive side of having ETS done :-) 

 

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no no i haven't had ETS (yet at least) but there are a few people that blushing turned back after a few years.
i myself i am struggling to find a cure  though something more natural (im not a fan of meds ) 

where did you have yours done ?
 

plus in denmark i dont think you will suffer a lot even if you have CS :P

 

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Nina,

.        You are just adjusting physically and mentally. I had ETS 6 months ago and also felt a bit strange at first. Your confidence will grow in the coming weeks and you will get used to the new you. Also get used to dry hands and feeling the cold more if you are like me. Good luck.

phs67.

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TerryKof: I had it done at Mølholm privat hospital in Denmark. Year and I guess your right about that :-) 

phs67: Thanks for your reply ! I sure hope it will go the way you predict. I am getting better, but I just still cant believe that I dont blush. All the time I notice myself pulling out of jokes, conversations that are to "exciting" to calm my nervous system, only to realize that even though I play along I actually wont blush. I did a presentation the other day and I could actually focus on during a good job instead of all of my alarm centers going nuts because of the heat rushing to my face. I'm amazed. But I really dont get it yet. 

However, I really to freeze a lot. My feet sweet more than usual which makes the cold very pervasive. I also have CS under my armpits. It does bother me, but it is something I can hide. Which the blushing is not. And maybe my body will adapt some more, its only day 6 since the operation. And You can get T-shirts that block the sweet unde the armpits,  whereas the you cant get anything really to block the blushing. Except for meds of course. But that was not the chose for me. 

Btw! As you are an ingeneer by trade ;-) Do you have any theory of why we freeze more? I know the sweeting does its part. But i feel generally more cold allover my body. DO you? 

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Nina

.        As far as i am aware the nerves cut after ETS are the ones that regulate your body temperature. This is why CS etc can be a problem. It's a gamble to have the surgery. I had strange sweating shortly after surgery but it settled down after a couple of weeks. I do however feel colder than i used to, especially my feet, but i can live with it. Hope you are luck too.

phs67

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Update: 

13 days since ETS

Blushing: I dont blush.  Im 100 % certain.  I feel this wierd tingle feeling that others have described, when I'm in a blushing situation, but then nothing happens. I feel no rush of heat. And I look perfectly pale afterwards. 

CS: I do have some CS. I have some troubles staying warm because of the extra sweating, but its not really a problem. The problem is just that im starting to transfer my checking/worrying habits from blushing to sweating. But Im gonna start therapy tomorrow, so I can quit that habbit even before it becomes a thing. Because honestly its not a problem. yes I sweat a bit more under my armpits and my feet, but with the right clothes its no problem. When I excersice I sweat a lot more on my chest and back but its natural to sweat when you work out, and I see people around me sweet just as much or even more. 

My hands a dry, but I love it! I have an uge to hold hands with people, because I love that my hands are so varm and dry. I feel like and old lady though when I have to lick my fingertips to turn the pages in my book haha - not a problem either. 

Thoughts about going through with ETS: 

I realize now after doing ETS that in my case anxiety might have been the real problem. Not that I think I would have blushed much less if I didn't have anxiety- thats just my body's way of communicating - , but its the severe fear of looking a fool in front of others thats the real problem for me. I mean, If I blushed by myself in my room, I didn't feel scared maybe just a bit uncomfterble, but blushing in front of others felt ( especially people close to me) I felt this intense fear of them judging me somehow. 

I think its the worrying tendency ( in my case) thats the problem. And I have to deal with that in therapy. 

However that being said, when you been alone with an intense fear, like many of ud "blushers" have for many many years, you get to a point where fear is ruling and you just need a way out. I which that my parents had noticed that I was suffering earlier, or that my doctor had taken me seriously when I told her at 16 that everyday I was batteling an intense fear of blushing. I which that I had been brave enough to seek out counseling earlier, og that I had told my friends about my fear sooner. But it couldn't do any of that, because I felt so alone, and also I felt like a freak, because other people did not fear blushing the way I did. I was afraid to tell people about it, because I didn't want them to think I was mental.  And thats the real curse about this condition. 

I suffered for 10 years, and it got to a point where I actually started feeling a bit mental. I think most people will if they go about with any fear thats always present alone for many years. So for me I think to have a dignified life at this point I had to go through with ETS. You cant change the past, but I dealt with my present and future the best way I could, and the sweat will be the scars I carry. It might even fell meaningless without it. 

My point is, that if you haven't suffered that long, then maybe it your brave enough therapy could be a way out. I think its the long, lonesome suffering thats the real problem. And that just my opinion, as someone who dont have severe fear of blushing anymore. 

 

 

 

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On 11/03/2018 at 2:56 PM, Nina said:

Update: 

13 days since ETS

Blushing: I dont blush.  Im 100 % certain.  I feel this wierd tingle feeling that others have described, when I'm in a blushing situation, but then nothing happens. I feel no rush of heat. And I look perfectly pale afterwards. 

CS: I do have some CS. I have some troubles staying warm because of the extra sweating, but its not really a problem. The problem is just that im starting to transfer my checking/worrying habits from blushing to sweating. But Im gonna start therapy tomorrow, so I can quit that habbit even before it becomes a thing. Because honestly its not a problem. yes I sweat a bit more under my armpits and my feet, but with the right clothes its no problem. When I excersice I sweat a lot more on my chest and back but its natural to sweat when you work out, and I see people around me sweet just as much or even more. 

My hands a dry, but I love it! I have an uge to hold hands with people, because I love that my hands are so varm and dry. I feel like and old lady though when I have to lick my fingertips to turn the pages in my book haha - not a problem either. 

Thoughts about going through with ETS: 

I realize now after doing ETS that in my case anxiety might have been the real problem. Not that I think I would have blushed much less if I didn't have anxiety- thats just my body's way of communicating - , but its the severe fear of looking a fool in front of others thats the real problem for me. I mean, If I blushed by myself in my room, I didn't feel scared maybe just a bit uncomfterble, but blushing in front of others felt ( especially people close to me) I felt this intense fear of them judging me somehow. 

I think its the worrying tendency ( in my case) thats the problem. And I have to deal with that in therapy. 

However that being said, when you been alone with an intense fear, like many of ud "blushers" have for many many years, you get to a point where fear is ruling and you just need a way out. I which that my parents had noticed that I was suffering earlier, or that my doctor had taken me seriously when I told her at 16 that everyday I was batteling an intense fear of blushing. I which that I had been brave enough to seek out counseling earlier, og that I had told my friends about my fear sooner. But it couldn't do any of that, because I felt so alone, and also I felt like a freak, because other people did not fear blushing the way I did. I was afraid to tell people about it, because I didn't want them to think I was mental.  And thats the real curse about this condition. 

I suffered for 10 years, and it got to a point where I actually started feeling a bit mental. I think most people will if they go about with any fear thats always present alone for many years. So for me I think to have a dignified life at this point I had to go through with ETS. You cant change the past, but I dealt with my present and future the best way I could, and the sweat will be the scars I carry. It might even fell meaningless without it. 

My point is, that if you haven't suffered that long, then maybe it your brave enough therapy could be a way out. I think its the long, lonesome suffering thats the real problem. And that just my opinion, as someone who dont have severe fear of blushing anymore. 

 

 

 

Where are you having the surgery done?

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I had ETS with T2/T3 Clipped because of blushing also.

But i got so severe CS that I had my clips removed last week. Hopefully CS will reduce overtime..

I had problems with blushing too whole my life and yeah it really ruins everything..
After the ETS my blushing reduced a lot but in extreme cases it still stayed but not so much..
The confident boost I got after the surgery was huge.. Like the world was a different place..But soon I will probably be back to blushing..
 

I'm kinda bummed the surgery didn't work for me but glad it's working out for you.. Blushing ruins lives..

 

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On 14/3/2018 at 9:07 PM, mojow said:

Where are you having the surgery done?

I had by surgery done at Mølholm private hospital in Denmark, the surgeon is really competent! 

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On 15/3/2018 at 5:33 PM, User12648 said:

Is it an easy process I’m 15 would it be worth it 

Hi there, 

Its hard to say. You are quiet young for the surgery. Thinking back I'm glad that it didn't succeed at getting the surgery when I was a teen ( I wanted it really badly) mostly because the side effects of the surgery can be severe, and when you grow older you develop better copping skills, and looks matter less. Also.. I'm sorry about this point - it's so annoying.. As a teen your hormone levels a really high, and because of the development taking place in the emotional centers in your brain, ( Im studying psychology thats why I know this) will cause you to be more sensitive to other people's opinion and critiques. Making blushing worse.. But that will change for you.  It will get better. 

If your brave enough tell your parent or someone close to you about it. Share with them some of these stories online, so they understand how severe this is for you. And then I would advice u to bring this person with you to see your doctor ( for emotional support), and try to get at combination of beta blockers ( they take the edge of the blushing) and psycho therapy. As you are so young I think you should work with your mindset towards blushing, and then when you get older, you can always consider the surgery. 

Thats just my advice. Be strong :) 

 

 

 

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On 15/3/2018 at 7:53 PM, skriim said:

I had ETS with T2/T3 Clipped because of blushing also.

But i got so severe CS that I had my clips removed last week. Hopefully CS will reduce overtime..

I had problems with blushing too whole my life and yeah it really ruins everything..
After the ETS my blushing reduced a lot but in extreme cases it still stayed but not so much..
The confident boost I got after the surgery was huge.. Like the world was a different place..But soon I will probably be back to blushing..
 

I'm kinda bummed the surgery didn't work for me but glad it's working out for you.. Blushing ruins lives..

 

 

Hi skriim, 

Im sorry that it didn't work for you. I hope that CS will reduce over time. 

I do have CS too, but I'm working on not thinking about it. Because I have noticed that when I train my mind in staying of the sweating and not checking if Im sweating all the time, I actually dont feel sad about it. It only bothers me, when my thoughts keep returning to like " Oh Im I sweating now".. " How much am I gonna sweet now".. or " I can't go to a dancing class, because I will sweat too much..".. I have noticed that its like with blushing. If I dont to things, because I know I will sweat ( like before I knew I would blush speaking in front of a group of people) then I'll worry even more and get sad about life. If I just do it and dont think about it to much, I seriously sweat less, and when I sweat Im like " So what its just salty water.."... I gonna join a group therapy in metacognitive therapy next month -- You dont talk about you emotions, you just learn how to regain control over your thoughts. 

Maybe that would be something for you too? 

How you tried beta blockers? 

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10 hours ago, Nina said:

Hi there, 

Its hard to say. You are quiet young for the surgery. Thinking back I'm glad that it didn't succeed at getting the surgery when I was a teen ( I wanted it really badly) mostly because the side effects of the surgery can be severe, and when you grow older you develop better copping skills, and looks matter less. Also.. I'm sorry about this point - it's so annoying.. As a teen your hormone levels a really high, and because of the development taking place in the emotional centers in your brain, ( Im studying psychology thats why I know this) will cause you to be more sensitive to other people's opinion and critiques. Making blushing worse.. But that will change for you.  It will get better. 

If your brave enough tell your parent or someone close to you about it. Share with them some of these stories online, so they understand how severe this is for you. And then I would advice u to bring this person with you to see your doctor ( for emotional support), and try to get at combination of beta blockers ( they take the edge of the blushing) and psycho therapy. As you are so young I think you should work with your mindset towards blushing, and then when you get older, you can always consider the surgery. 

Thats just my advice. Be strong :) 

 

 

 

Thank you 

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On 3/18/2018 at 3:13 PM, Nina said:

 

Hi skriim, 

Im sorry that it didn't work for you. I hope that CS will reduce over time. 

I do have CS too, but I'm working on not thinking about it. Because I have noticed that when I train my mind in staying of the sweating and not checking if Im sweating all the time, I actually dont feel sad about it. It only bothers me, when my thoughts keep returning to like " Oh Im I sweating now".. " How much am I gonna sweet now".. or " I can't go to a dancing class, because I will sweat too much..".. I have noticed that its like with blushing. If I dont to things, because I know I will sweat ( like before I knew I would blush speaking in front of a group of people) then I'll worry even more and get sad about life. If I just do it and dont think about it to much, I seriously sweat less, and when I sweat Im like " So what its just salty water.."... I gonna join a group therapy in metacognitive therapy next month -- You dont talk about you emotions, you just learn how to regain control over your thoughts. 

Maybe that would be something for you too? 

How you tried beta blockers? 

Im not sure about therapy but what helps me reduce blushing and episodes is becoming more social. 
It's like training yourself to be more confident.

No I haven't tried beta blockers and I probably wont ever. I don't like to use medications.

But yeah let's hope things get better for all of us.

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 One of us want to be taking medications or want the surgery

 

it all depends how it effects you as a person and how badly you blush and easily nobody is the same 

 

needs must everybodys just looking for some kind of relief

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On 19/3/2018 at 10:55 PM, TerryKof said:

Hey nina how it is going with the CS ?
and how is life going blush free ?

Hi TerryKof, 

Its going really great thanks ! 

I'm not sure I'm really comprehending the change that has happened to me, but I have noticed that my anxiety levels have dropped severely. I dont get a beating heart when someone approached me as I did before. I'm still figting a habit of not taking the word in a conversation because I would blush before, but Im working on that, because it feel amazing every time I do it, and I can feel that I'm not blushing. I dont feel like a major relief kind of experience .. I feel more like a soldiers that has returned from war and kind of just want some peace and quiet for a change. But my therapist says that perfectly natural.  She experiences that people who have battled cancer dont neccesarily feel happy but are more like sad and really exhausted, I guess thats how I feel. 

However I still find it hard to talk about! and I think I need to talk about it. I forced myself to tell a friend about yesterday - the years of suffering and the surgery - and I guess I could take some emotional distance to the story, because I used a psychologist approach to explaining what has happened to me ( Im studying psychology) and hi does to... But still its like I dont think he really got it. But Im glad I did it anyways because I dont want to let any part of blushing control what I say or do anymore. 

The CS is not too bad. I sweat sometimes doing the night, but then I just lift the blanket to air out and take a shower in the morning. Doing the day I mostly sweat a lot on my feet and some under my armpits. But its not bothering me. I just dont wear tight blouses in colors anymore which is fine :-) 

So all in all Im really happy I did the surgery. It was the right thing for me. 

Thanks for asking, 

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