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Anabella

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  1. Anabella

    Had enough

    Please read my post guys! there is soo much usefull info on the link I sent. I know I know...most of you probably heard it all already, but listen, just like it says in that article (God blesssss the person who cared enough to write it), it's a matter of trying, falling, getting back up, falling again...don't you know just how much strength that gives us??? even falling after trying is a HUGE strengthener! Try again guys, try again...and you might be in the upmost horrible of places, probably many of you waaay worse than myself! but little by little by little you come out...and it's amazing how things start unfolding for you...I don't know who was the one that said that he/she is jobless, no social life, no love life etc. well, let's take that case for instance...you try and try and stay focuses on your attempts REALIZING THAT FALLING IS PART OF THE DEAL, falling over and over actually, and you keep at it, listen, somehow, someway, unexplicably, things start to unfold for you. I don't know how, but somewhow you find yourself in a situation where you meet somebody, and that somebody has just the patience you need at that exact moment, or some piece of info you might need, or the hand that you need to help you out...that person can become friend number one...from there, yet ANOTHER situation will arise, (if you keep at it) that will come out of nowhere, unexpectedly, and unexplainably that will lead to your next and your next step, and on and on and on until all the sudden you look at yourself, after some time, and feel sooo much stronger and more confident. But don't look at yourself in the mirror just a week later and say YOU ARE AN IDIOT SEE? YOU CAN'T CHANGE EVEN IF YOU TRY! IT'S NOT FOR YOU nonononno...all of this won't happen in a week, nor a month, but slowly, gradually. You will look back at some point and see a whole path behind you of change, change, good change... Hell, we know that even ONE new, understanding friend in our lives for some of us is already a cause for huge celebration! Throw a damn mental party every single time something good happens, and this will like it so much, that it will bring you more and more causes to celebrate ... DON'T-GIVE-UP.
  2. (before you read, know that there is something here that is of your interest, so pls bare with my preface :wink: ) Hi guys, I haven't been in this site for a loooong time, many years I guess. Not that I have been cured with my blushing/social phobia, but I just figured it was making me think more and more about my problem to read helpless possible cures, or "camouflage" solutions. In a sense it's a relief to come and read and see that you're not alone with your MAJOR ISSUE, but it's also kind of frustrating to hear all of you, poor things, having to go through this, wasting sooo much energy from your precious selves and good life time worrying about all of this. I've been there, still am at MANY times, but I've been starting to listen to His voice and always always always tell myself that THIS TOO WILL PASS. It WILL get better...and I try not to hide anymore, I try to let it go, to just be what I am, and surround myself with the people that accept me for it,...the ones that don't and that will judge me and tag me as weird, well, Lord have mercy on them, they know no better. Sadly though I've found myself through time, everytime I've come across "possible cures", being at first so firedup and hopefull, ready to go hands-on, but then, I go through that..., have you guys seen the documentary THE SECRET? well you know that part when they explain the blossoming of the plant, where you start putting something to practise and the plant begins to grow and grow and grow but then impatience makes us give up somewhere along the way and the plant seems to go back underground even before it's blossomed at all, broken itsway through the surface? Well I feel like that with everything I've tried, and I stop just before I see any progress. Call it frustration, fear, oppossing forces, whatever...Good thing about it is that I KNOW I just gotta battle a little harder, I just gotta say THESE NEGATIVITIES CAN'T BE STRONGER THAN MY WILL TO CHANGE FOR GOOD...i have got to do this! So the following is for all of us: I've come across an article, that many of you might or might not have read, a frustrating at times article (because we KNOW it's right, but we KNOW how hard it is to follow)...but it's a Heavenly article guys...It is true, it is right, it is what we need to know, it is what we need to do. While reading this I couldn't help want to share it with all of you poor sufferers, because I know that it will hit home to al least one of you, and it will work for at least one of you, and that, would be a mission accomplished for me. Hopefully it helps many many many more of you... So if possible, take 20, 30 minutes for yourselves, prepare yourselves some tea, coffee, whatever comforting infusion you may, ingnite your welcoming possitivity, read, and begin to make that change that your life is screaming out for http://cureforfacialblushing-howtostopgoingred.com/cure-for-facial-blushing-lets-look-at-the-basics-first/ BE HAPPY and think and know that ABSOLUTELY EVERTHING CHANGES, nothing ever remains exactly the same, not the good, not the bad... things can change for the better...and situations that overwhelm you to the bone today, will no longer have any importance tomorrow...just a memory no matter how strong or faint...just a memory, and nothing that can be done about the past, it's not coming back to hurt you if you don't let it....IT JUST CAN'T! the past is gone, the present is where you make yourself stronger, the future is where you enjoy your hard work. GOOD LUCK PEEPS, love your awsome lives, there is sooooooooooooo much light out there...and WE ARE NOT ALONE...there is ONE watching over us, just testing us a little harder (a little??? ha) cause He has veeeery special things in store for us. One possitive step leads to the next and the next and weakens and extinguishes the negative, I promise. One more thing, and sorry for the length of my message, but this you should read: we're just souls on an adventure to gain wisdom through experience... if you learned even one thing from the experience, then that was the reason for having it. Wise, wise souls we will one day be =) SMILE!
  3. PEOPLE!!!! SUFFERERS OF THIS!!!!! JUST READ THIS, AND I LIKE....I HOPE....I WAIT....I PRAY....I HOPE ONCE MORE....AND I JUST DON'T GIVE UP..... SIGN THIS PETITION BECAUSE I KNOW NOT ALL OF YOU HAVE DONE IT SO FAR...PLEASE, PLEASE THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE BUT ABOUT 5 MINUTES THAT IT TAKES YOU TO FILL OUT YOUR NAME, ETC. I DID IT AND I ALSO CONFESS THAT I CHEATED: I USED ALL THE EMAIL ACCOUNTS THAT I HAVE WITH DIFFERENT NAMES TO ADD NUMBERS!!! OOOPS, BUT IT'S WORTH IT.... GUYS, I THINK THIS WOULD SPEED UP THE PROCESS OF ANY "COMFORT" THAT WE ARE WAITING FOR!! JUST DO IT!!! AND TELL US IF YOU DID AND HOW MANY SIGNATURES THERE WERE AT THE MOMENT YOU SIGNED... WE CAN DO THIS GUYS...WE WILL COME OUT TRIUNFANT OUT OF THIS ONE...WITH THE HELP OF COMETICS, REMEDIES OF ANY SORT, OR JUST WITH FAITH...SOMEDAY ALL THIS WILL MAKE SENSE TO US...WE HAVE THIS FOR A REASON, AND NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE BAD....THERE'S A GOOD REASON FOR ALL THIS SUFFERING....
  4. Oh Ami, I'm so sorry to hear you case. Unfortunately I don't know of anything that can help you. I don't suffer from FF (my case is more blushing, which at times leads to a prolonged flush) and am still struggling to put it under control. There are however many posts that speak of treatments for rosacea and flushing ( I'm not clinically sure, but from what I have read and learnt, your case does sound like severe rosacea), so please check these posts out. It's too bad that your dermatologist couldn't help you. They should actually have at least some sort of knowledge on this condition!!! BUt don't give up, some doctor out there has to know what it is you are suffering and hopefully have some sort of aliviation for you. In regards to the pshychological part of this, oh please don't let it get the best of you. Just FIGHT it, you are stronger than whatever condition may take over you, your body is yours and YOU control it, the condition DOES NOT CONTROL YOU. Don't let it. BE STRONG, FIGHT IT, BE STRONG, FIGHT IT...a good weapon for almost anything: INDIFFERENCE... I'm so sorry I can't really help, but I do feel for you, so that's why I decided to reply and just let you know that you are understood, and not alone. Just keep looking for help and you will surely find it... don't give up, don't give in.... best of luck....
  5. Fernando, hola!! Antes que nada dejame pedirte disculpas por no haber respondido tus mensaje. La verdad es que me aleje por bastante tiempo del forum y todo lo que tiene que ver con esto. La verdad que lo que decis tiene mucho de verdad. Hay ya varios posts que dicen con otras palabras lo mismo. Es cierto: tenemos que APRENDER A ACEPTARNOS COMO SOMOS Y A NO PERMITIR QUE NOS MOLESTE EL HECHO DE SONROJARNOS, pero Dios sabe lo dificil que es para nosotros...creo que esa seria la "fuerza maxima" que podemos llegar a alcanzar. Es mas, es supongo que es la "cura" de alguna manera. Yo no la he alcanzado ni estoy cerca. Se me ocurrion miles de veces, pero todavia no la pude poner a practica. Bueno, si, lo he hecho, pero no dura mas de dos dias seguidos...el tema es que hay miles de situaciones en las que nos sonrojamos, y cada situacion nos da sentimientos diferentes...es decir, hay momentos en que pensamos que podemos tener la confianza sufieciente como para "hacerle frente" a nuestra fb y no permitir que nos importe, pero en otros, es demasiada la presion y terminamos aflojando. Supongo que "practise makes perfect!!!!" cuanto mas lo intentamos, mas facil se nos hace, pero para mi y a ver si me explico, es como que, bueno, cuando siento confianza de "convivir" con esto que me toco vivir, lo hago por unos dias, y luego pasa algo bastante intolerable, y es como empezar de cero...se entiende? Despues estan esos celos que siento cada vez que veo gente tan desemvuelta, saliendo adelante en todos esos ambitos de la vida en los que yo no puedo dada esta "condicion" que tengo. y ahi de vuelta, vuelve a bajar mi autoestime...y hay miles de situaciones mas...supongo que ya va siendo mucho tiempo viviendo con esto, y es dificil romper el circulo vicioso... Bueno, espero que se haya entendido lo que intente decir y bueno, nos encontramos por aca cuando yo ande, porque hay veces que me hace mejor alejarme....
  6. Oh, oh, and give all those confident hot shots a week of red cheecks, and nervousness in social situations and see what happens with all that powerfull confidence of theirs... :wink: true, true
  7. Cute teddy bear....thank you for the post. Most all you wrote has more than once taken a stroll on my mind, and you coulndn't have put it better. I do believe we are all strong people with the biggest balls out there, but sometimes due to circumstances it's too easy to forget. So thanks for the remainder...THANK YOU!
  8. Hi S.I...welcome... For me it started ages ago...I was little, about 6 and had a terror of going to school and summer sport clubs and such things. I can still clearly remember, that day that my dad took me to the first day of summer club (something we have in my country, where you spend the whole day doing activities with other kids your age). My dad was then a cop, and I remeber him clearly, wearing his uniform, and comforting me while I cryed because I didn't want him to leave me there bymyself. Iwas horrified of being with others, and I have no idea why...that day, I don't remember blushing to be honest, but I can just go back to it and feel that anxiety in me. And I'm pretty sure I was red just as whenever I get anxious. I'm not sure how I got by.... An ocassion when I DO remeber blushing, probably around 8, was this funny one: ...my sister and her friend had told me the meaning of the word "f***" ...so I remember I said it aloud infront of family members, and they all stared at me with this bewildered, shocking look, and asked me if I knew what that meant, and I told them that I did, so they asked me to explain... :oops: :oops: :oops: ...AND I DID, with actions and all (didn't get them quite right though )...I lay myself "face down" :? on the couch and explained how the "boy" gets on top of the "girl" and that's what they do!!!! :oops: :oops: .....well, while giving my explanation, worried about getting in trouble I turned all shades of red!!!! hahaha, see how unforgetable a moment like that can be???? And well, after, I had some traumatic times coming to Canada, when I was 9,not knowing a word or English, and having kids at school constantly make fun of me, saying all sort of obnoxios things, some which I didn't really understand, but having them mock me and laugh in my face was enough to feel like running to the shelter of my home...I do remember them calling me "boogie monster" and til this day I don't know why (just plain pure children's cruelty). Every day I would come home crying and telling my mom that I didn't want to go back there....I can't exactly remember, but I can feel all those days of blushing! :roll: ...but luckily a few years later, I became one of the most popular girls in school, for a while, and for many years I can't remember my blushing bothering me, untlil the fear and analysing came back, and today, I don't go by one day without wishing I could be more social without having that shitty fear of blushing.... Well, there you have it, a big chapter in my life that I think explains a lot of what I feel today. And I guess all those little episodes started my lovely blushing.... Good luck S.I...and if you had the strength to overcome the highly addictive power of drugs, you have the strength to overcome just about everything else!!!! Attack this NOW!!
  9. Ok guys, I do have a question, and I know that it all has to do with how insecure all this sh** makes me: why is it that whenever I post something, I get about 500 views, but no more than 5 replies??? Is what I write hard to understand? too uninteresting? does it sound stupid? Am I really losing my touch for everything??? It's because I tend to write too much, isn't it? I don't know, I read other posts, and really, not to offend anybody, I find some "not so to the subject", and yet, right away, about 10 people reply!!! Oh man, I'm sorry, I know I'm making a fool out of myself right now, but let me tell you that I have made of this site a sort of diary (who's gonna forbid me to??), so I just go ahead and write just about every emotion I have when I decide to get into the site, so here I am: call me a freak, a silly girl, a 'WHAT the hell is she talking about?", or just a human being way too confused because she just didn't have the privilege of "just being" like other people just are, without having to analize every single thought and action. This IS me, I can't help it. But that question to all remains: ...why?
  10. Hola Fernando, lei mi respuesta a tu "post" y te juro que me avergonze :oops: (que raro en mi, no?) y esto fue ya hace unos dias. Se que me respondiste (gracias), (te respondi yo tu mail? no recuerdo, perdon), pero igual, queria pedirte disculpas por haber sido tan "mal hablada". Me mande muchas "mierdas", y la verdad que ahora caigo en que te pueden haber caido mal. Debo haber estado teniendo un mal dia cuando escribi, como muchos, como hoy mismo... vos? como estas? Mejor? Te siguen persiguiendo estos problemitas que compartimos?? a mi si, hermano, si y mucho...hoy tuve un dia horrible en el laburo!!! y no te das una idea ( o si) como me afectan en mi vida personal y en gral.! Te digo, hay veces en que ya no puedo pensar! Todo esto que vivo con respecto a la fobia social y fb me esta volviendo loca!! me esta perdiendo, siento que ya no soy la misma, o sea, antes, por ejemplo, (hace años y aunque era mas joven) podia escribir mucho mejor, y ahora siento que estoy como "retrocediendo", que no pienso claro, que lo que quiero decir nunca sale como quiero....no se si me entendes....es como que cuando era mas chica tenia ciertas cosas mas claras que ahora que supuestamente voy adquieriendo mas experiencia! (tengo 26). Bueno, en fin, solo queria decir perdon si pareci muy atrevida y bueno, que espero que estes bien, soportando lo mejor posible esta m.... :wink: que nos toco vivir! Todo lo mejor....
  11. Thanks for understanding Bob Bear, but I wanted to clarify that I actually deposited great amounts of HOPE in that "whatever it was" I wrote: Tomorrow, blue skies.... my soul, free.... my mind, wise... my ghosts, sleeping... my strength, always, ALWAYS there... my soul, free.... my Creator, smiling at me. That's what I want to BELIEVE will happen, with or without a cure. That wether we all find a "CURE" for this affliction or not, I will still find a way to accept it and myself with it, that I'll be able to LIVE with what I have if I can't get rid of it, not feeling like a total loser and/or freak, and hope that even though this has taken over me, I will still be strong enough as to fight it every single time I have to. So yes, what I wrote was written when I was away, in my vacation, in Trinidad, place where I should have been enjoying right in that moment that I was writing(or at least most any "normal" person would have been!), but I wasn't, I was miserable, "alone" (not physically but emotionally, very much alone), cursing at myself for being the way I am, and for allowing all those "ghosts" to hunt me.... BUT, above all that bs I was going through, I was being hopeful, yes, even thoughat times it may seem in surface that I am a dark cloud, I was convincing myself that EVERYTHING WILL BE OK, because I have the strength to, because I will grow wise, because someday something in me will just "snap" and let me know how it all is, because, because most of us are good people and WE DON'T DESERVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT WE GO THROUGH, because if I WAS put on this earth, it's for a reason, and if suffering through blushing is part of the reason, then I believe that the reason in FULL is to "learn" from the suffering the blushing has caused me... All in all, today, I suffer (matter of fact I had a HORRIBLE blushing night at work!!), but someday, I know it will all come together. Why do I go on like this? sorry....
  12. Ok, I'm back and I'm alive and ashamed :oops: ...sorry to have alerted some (thanks for your concern, Vicky)...no it wasn't an allergic reaction, it was just my nerves taking over again...I guess the pills (Seredyn) weren't even strong enough to cover those nerves of mine!!! However....the night at the restaurant went well...drivng to work I still felt my heart beating fast, but when I got to work, and I saw the people I work with, who it's nice to say they seemed glad to see me , everything flowed smoothly (is that the past tense of FLOW?? :? ). I was ok telling my stories and at work I managed just fine.... I took another pills a few hours before work today too, and luckily it didn't have that funny effect on me this time...I'm not too sure if it did much at all because I did have some moments where I could feel the anxiety raising, but those moments didn't last long enough as to explode into a blush! So, just wanted to tell you guys that I'm as well as I can be and that the pills so far remain a question mark for me cuase I don't really know how they help; mind you, that day after I took those 2 first ones I was in a good mood, feeling a bit more confident about certain things, so I don't know if it was the pills or just the fact that I had the whole day off and that made me happy .... I'll report more about Seredyn later.....
  13. also let me tell you that it was hard for me to concentrate while writing this.....you guys are being a witness of this panic of mine :cry: !!!! oh man let it pass!!!
  14. Ok, so I have returned from the beauty and wellness of "heat", and now I'm back in this cold, sad country, which means that today, I must go back to work, and yes, to the restaurant, as a server.... Guys, I am nervous!!!! I just don't want people asking me how it went and all, and I'm anxious thinking if I will do a good job or not.... Now ok, by the time I got back, the Seredyn that I ordered was waiting for me. The first thing I thought while holding the bottle in my hand was: "I can't believe I have to be doing this....about 70 to 90 bucks later (shipping costs and all), I have this thing in my possesion, which I'm really fearful of and now hesitant to take. Why can't I just do it on my own???!!!".... But, the money has been spent, and well, today, as the time to work approaches and my axiety raises, I decided to take the first one earlier today, and a second one about 30 minutes ago...Guys, why is my heart beating like this??!!! It is raising quite fast! I don't know if it's because I am fearing the product together with being nervous about work, or if it's just not having a good effect on me!!! According to what I read about some of you taking these pills, well, it might not do the job we expect it to, or it just relaxes some of you, but I never hear of a contrary effect!!! Please let me know if any of you have had any weird effect, like getting overly anxious, heart palpitations and all....I hope it's just temporary and it eases in a few hours...I have to be at work in about an hour and a half, so hopefuly I'll feel ok...also I feel a lilttle dizzy and that makes me even more nervous.... oh God, help!!!!
  15. Well, ok, as for being a different person if we wouldn't have this problem, I agree to some point. If i would have NEVER had this problem, then maybe yes, I would have total different thoughts of myself, of life of others, and there is no way of knowing if it would be for the better or for worse. Now, if after all this time of torture with this problem, I did find a cure that would make me take advantage of all the opportunities in life (accepting good job offers, enjoying myself in company of others rather than concentrating on my problem in that moment, etc) I really think it would be hard to forget what it felt like to suffer through it. I think I would remain as humble as this problem has made me, and conscious of who I am. I would also feel compasionte with certain people (as I always have), and in addition, I would try and help all those who might be going through something similar as I did. Ha hahah, I have even thought at times: "maybe God didn't want me to become a celebrity thats why he put this condition on me!!!", cuase I do sometimes think that with my personality, if I wouldn't have this problem, I COULD DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING, and who knows! I would even maybe go into acting!!!
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