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Jim

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Jim last won the day on May 3 2018

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  1. Hey I have been in similar position to what you describe. If you would like to meet up for a beer or coffee to talk through if you are in London - just say. There are many things that help a lot you can find on this forum. Jadresic recommends Escitalopram.
  2. Jim

    Aspergers

    I have just been googling “Aspergers blushing” and quite a lot of stuff comes up. Or at least many people with Aspergers have social anxiety including blushing. Aspergers seems to include two different personality types. People with limited social skills and no social anxiety; but also people with a lot of social anxiety.
  3. Jim

    Cold showers

    There is the wim hof method - which is claimed to influence autoimmune system. I try the cold showers and it goes from being really tough to being pretty easy to take 5 mins freezing cold shower even in December!
  4. Jim

    Cold showers

    i also try this and i agree it’s good for you. Did you find it helps on the blushing?
  5. Jim

    blushing video

    Ok so I went and did this; and here is what happened: I met Michelle and she explained she is doing a piece of art work on blushing to be presented in January. The focus is on blushing and with an idea for ideally capturing the event as a piece of art work. We met a couple of times and talked about the subject; I learned about the work of Ray Crozier who has a great website and a really detailed book I am going to read. We agreed I would volunteer to be photographed. This involved going to an art studio in front of a camera and a heat sensitive camera. There was another guy in the studio; but he left before the filming (probably too embarrassed - as there is nothing more embarrassing than embarrassment!). Michelle asked some slightly embarrassing questions while I sat answering in the glare of really bright lights and cameras hoping to go red. But i did not blush. I think there are two reasons for this: It was just too friendly and not hostile enough. The blush arises due to the fear of negative consequences- but in this situation this was not in my mind One known approach for not blushing is trying to blush - maybe this was impacting here. I recommend other people to try on this. I know the thought of doing it - appearing on camera at the absolute weakest moment is about as bad as death; but this is exactly what is needed if the topic is to be taken seriously. We live in a world where it is acceptable to abuse blushers - and for many people there is no cure for it. Only by raising the profile of the issue can it be resolved in the long term. This needs a front line of people prepared to face their worst ultimate fear and expose it; so I recommend doing this and would be willing to help anyone thinking of it
  6. Professor Jadresic has a 2016 paper here: https://www.medwave.cl/link.cgi/English/Reviews/GeneralReviews/6491.act I think this is a brilliant paper as it takes a look at all the different ways blushing is looked at and treated. A quick summary is: Blushing is an under researched mis-understood occurrence. It’s serious issues are more widespread than commonly understood (by non blushers) He talks through the psychiatric perspective giving what I think is a great definition “defines social phobia, or social anxiety disorder, as a marked fear of being the center of attention or of behaving in an embarrassing or humiliating way, leading to social avoidance. The last version of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) characterizes social anxiety disorder as the presence of persistent, marked anxiety in different social or public situations for fear that they might be embarrassing. Interestingly, unlike their predecessors, this is the first version to state that “blushing is a hallmark physical response of social anxiety disorder”, which does justice to this largely ignored symptom” There is a section on self conscious emotions “self-conscious emotions depend in part on what the person experiencing them thinks about others, but they also hinge on what that person believes others are thinking about him or her. For example, embarrassment is an unpleasant emotional state that we experience when we know that we have been caught in an individual act or condition that is socially or professionally unacceptable. Embarrassment is similar to shame, except that we can feel ashamed of something that we alone know about ourselves, while embarrassment requires the presence of another person” There is an evolutionary perspective. Which I think is summarised as - if you did something accidentally bad then the rest of your tribe are more likely to forgive if you blushed A great section on treatment options: - ssris; I never tried these, but the paper recommends escitalopram - beta blockers; I tried these and they take the worst edge off for a crunch situation - psychotherapy; I never tried this - task concentration training; I sort of tried this, I read a self help book recommended by warren buffet and whilst trying out the ideas I focused less on blushing, but it’s a small help relative to the issue - CBT; I tried this with limited success, it helped understand the issues more clearly but not fix anything - surgery; I had this and it helped a lot, but did not solve the problem, I still blush and still have erythophobia I found this a great paper and summary of the issue and best treatments. Professor Jadresic wrote the book “when blushing hurts”; which is also a great read. He is one of the very few people who have had the condition (he is one of us) and have the professional and academic background to be taken seriously. Given the level of abuse and persecution many blushers experience - this man is a hero - the Martin Luther king of the group
  7. I completely agree with this. a blusher without some form of Ocd will blush and be a bit worried but likely get over it. the combination of blushing and compulsive thoughts - ruminating on all the things that might result from the blush is what causes the fear of blushing - which leads to more blushing ..
  8. Has anyone ever asked a professional makeup artist? I wonder if it’s possible to get something that works and is also invisible for a man to use
  9. Hi, it took the worst edge off it. So it is not happening in super market queues etc.. that was a huge relief. But I still have it and it is still overwhelming. i had some negative side effects but relatively minor: - some excessive sweating in the first couple of years but this stopped after then - I had a lack of resilience to stress - which I did not link to the operation until I read Sebastian lipinski’s book where he mentions this as a common side effect. By this I mean I found work pressure led to fatigue more quickly that previously
  10. Yes this is right. It can work for some people. For others it does not work fully; and others - the side effects can be extremely serious. In Enrique Jurasics book he mentioned the surgery is very successful for many people; but at the same time cautions not to see it as the solution as the people for which it does not work can be disheartened. I had it in 2004. It took the very worst of blushing away from me; but it still happens albeit to a lesser extent and I am still haunted by it.
  11. Yes I rarely saw anyone on TV blush. And as you say it's the opposite environment for a blusher. two famous blushers are: 1. Jeremy Bentham - I once read he blushed severely when talking to strangers - but he was one of the UKs leading intellectuals 2. Pompey apparently blushed in large groups - and he was the second most powerful man in Rome i did see Katie Hopkins blushing in early episodes of the apprentice in the board room. She does not do so now - not sure how she did it!
  12. Hello i was interested to hear from anyone who has cured their blushing from CBT. i think a large part of blushing is the fear of blushing (erythophobia). If you can be free from this then the problem is mainly solved. I thought the only way to overcome this is mentally through CBT or hypnosis - something to get rid of this fear. I would be interested to hear from people who had success using this approach many thanks
  13. This is great - thank you does the afrin really work fully for that long? That sounds promising?
  14. Many thanks for the reply - I will try this. Also best of luck for the operation!!
  15. One of the things that make blushing so bad is how difficult it is to talk about. I would be interested to know other people's recommendations here - should you talk about it or not to friends and family? I am also interested in what happened after you talked about - was it a net positive result or not? I am thinking perhaps if you talk about it then it formalises it as a problem, whereas if you don't it leaves people wondering what is wrong. Thoughts appreciated!
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