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Jaxx

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  1. This weekend something happened that made me realise without a shadow of a doubt that my fear of blushing is the thing that holds me back. I was in a pub beer garden which had almost no lights and it was fairly cold. I was introduced by a friend to a group of 6 girls about my age (27), 2 of them I had been to school with, although I didnt recognise them straight away as it was dark. Weirdly I felt zero anxiety when I was introduced and I was totally confident and was able to really pay attention to what they were saying and relax. I actually enjoyed the whole thing. It was only after 30 seconds or so that I realised the reason that I wasnt anxious and didnt blush was because no one could see each other and I knew it didnt make any difference if I did blush. Anyone else had this experience? Also realise that I get anxious in so many situations that other people just dont. For example sitting in a pub eating a meal with my family knowing that some people I used to go to school with were also in the pub and could come over and start a conversation with me in front of my family. I've come to asume that everyone gets nervous in these situations but they just don't. I'm not shy , quite the opposite in fact but I'm being held back from developing my social confidence to it's full potential by this curse of a condition! I've decided to get ETS done, it's just a question of when and who with now. Gotta give myself a shot at breaking free of this bull****!
  2. Yes Earth that's the stuff! It really is a great product. Re-e-Nuf I have got a couple of sachets of the redness solutions make up and it certianly does cover it completely like you say. I just feel weird and a bit paranoid wearing it in case someone notices. I find the Daily base does the job really.
  3. Don't do it mate. You're not alone out there. Although if feels like there is no hope of things ever getting better, with the right support and time they will. Just be resilient, talk to someone who can help you through this and battle on. Keep your Chin up!
  4. I read a post on the treatments section of this forum which reccomended Clinique redness solutions daily protective base. I went ahead and shelled out 15 quid for it a few weeks ago and I have to say, this stuff is brilliant!! Its pretty pricey but is really worth it. Its basically a greenish tinted kind of cream which rubs in so you cant really see it. I'm a guy so I would never wear any real makup or anything visible. Instantly after putting it on, the redness in my cheeks is much less visible. Ive also watched myself blush in the mirror with it on and its much less noticable, just a pinkish glow rather than an obvious bright red flush. this combined with getting some sun on my face over the last few weeks and getting a tiny bit tanned has massivly helped with my blushing problem, I dont even think about blushing at the moment, except in some really bad situations. My confidence and self esteem is better than ever and the cycle is going in the right direction. I really would reccomend trying this stuff, it has really helped me. You can even buy 3 sachets of it on ebay for about £3 as a test before you spend the full £15. Oh and I definetly dont work for clinique !
  5. What a ****. She clearly gets a kick and feels all powerful by making a man blush, probably to make her feel less insecure herself! Its just typical of how non blushers just dont get it. I wish she could be that guy just for one day....
  6. For some reason I have a real issue with blushing whenever I bump into someone I know unexpectedly, particluarly if its someone I havent seen in ages and even more so if it's in a supermarket. Does anyone else get this? I literally feel my heart rate rise and become anxious if I see someone I know but havent seen in a while. Am I going to be stuck like this for my whole life even when I've got kids? Its this kind of thing that chops my self esteem down every time it happens :-(. Anyone got any good tactics for breaking these kind of cycles?
  7. Hi guys, ive been reading up on ets on other sites and on here and seem to notice a trend that the people who seem to have had the worst side effects from ets often seem to be HH sufferers rather than FB. Is this the case or just a coincidence? perhaps its because for HH as I understand it they often cut T2 , T3 and T4 so its more risk of side effects? Im an FB sufferer and am looking at simply a T2 cut so Im trying to get a picture of the chances of getting severe CS or other side effects as well as the chances of it not stopping my FB.
  8. Hi torubled / lightbulb just out of interest who performed your surgery? and if you wouldnt mind telling me how much it cost I would really appreciate it. thanks
  9. As the topic title states, I'm seriously thinking about ETS. I'm just so sick of living my life in an anxious state. I feel like Im continually holding back from being my true confident self simply through fear of going red. I go bright red so easily at the slightest thing so I just don't see how any other remedies are going to solve it. I know ETS is a gamble and I'm aware of the risks but if it's true that their is a 92% chance that it will work and 95% of people who have ets for FB are happy with their decsion afterwards then Its a gamble im willing to take. I'm going to go for a consultation with a private surgeon called Alan Cameron in Ipswich. He's aparently one of the most experienced sugeons in the UK. Does anyone on here know of this guy or know anyone that has had ets performed by him? thanks
  10. Hey. I can relate to it being more about the fight or flight response than anything else. I'm conditioned to get an adrenaline rush in ceritan situations when I think I might blush. Its more the fear of going red that is the problem rather than actually being embarrased. The only thing I've found to combat this is beta blockers but I only take them when I know I have a meeting or something. Its not 100% effective anyway. Wish I could try makeup but Im a guy so it just wouldnt work. you are right though, we all need something to break the cycle!
  11. I can definetly relate to this. One thing that Ive found in the past is when you know about the event and can prepare for it mentaly it is possible to do something about it. At the moment my guess is that when you think about the event happening , you visualise yourself panicking and going bright red. Try picturing the scene in your mind but with someone you know who is very confident and doesnt blush in the place of you. Notice how they would react, stand, the expression on their face, their inner state. Basically add as much detail as you can. Now do the same thing with you in place of the confident person and watch how you act in the same way. Finally do the excercise again but be 1st person. Do this a few times, preferably do some breathing exercises first to relax as much as possible. The imagination is almost as good as the real thing when it comes to building confidence. After all confidence only comes through knowing that youve been in a certian situation before and have handled it. I'm not saying this will work spot on but give it a go, it works for me!
  12. I can definetly relate to having a Traumatic experience. in fact I had Many many traumatic experiences all the way through my mid to late teens. Its a difficult cycle to break but I truly believe it can be done.
  13. Thanks for the responses guys, its great to know there's others out there in the same boat! Thanks for the recomendations Curlgurl I'm going to look into a few of those. I seem to go through periods where I wont blush for a few days and my confidence goes up and then it can all start to go wrong again with one episode that seems to wreck it all. Also I've found that if I can get through a group of new people asking me something that would normally make me blush, without blushing (or without them noticing) then that triggger will no longer make me blush. It kinda proves that it really is the fear of blushing that is the biggest problem. One thing Ive found does work quite well is visualisation. As in, geting yourself in a really relaxed state then visualising yourself being totally cool in trigger situations with certian people. The more you do it and the more vivid the visualisations, the more your sub concious will refer to this outcome when faced with a trigger situation. Also another one I sometimes do is re visualise times when you blushed really bad and just accept them, accept that it wasnt your fault and take the pain out of the situation therfore helping to remove the fear. I think if there was a way to really and truly accept ourselves for who we are , i.e people that go red easily, then the problem would get much much smaller. Its easier said than done though eh?!
  14. Hi Guys, after reading this forum on and off for the last couple of years I thought it was about time I joined! To give a bit of background about me... Im a 25 year old guy and Ive had an FB problem since I was in my early teens. I can relate to alot of the posts i've read from others on here, in that I have fair skin which is very sensitive (if I scratch my neck even lightly , 10 seconds later theres a huge red mark) I have an overactive sympathetic nervous system and My face will turn bright red for a whole variety of reasons such as bending down to tie my laces, heat, etc. My mum also suffers from this infliction so it runs in the family. On top of all this I am i think slightly obsessive (which I only properly realised about 6 months ago). I continually get obtrusive inappropriate thoughts and worries and I have got to the point where often I'm so worried about blushing that its an ever present thought. I have many triggers that set it off, many are situations that are not even at all embarrasing but im so afraid of going red that when they occur my heart starts pumping and I feel my face burning up. The worst ones are in fact situations which arent exactly embarrasing but where it would be viewed wrongly if I were to blush, e.g a gay guy trying to flirt with me (I'm straight by the way). This leads to them thinking that I secretly fancy them because I go red! Nightmare! This particular trigger has developed into a general anxiety around gay guys just in case this happens. I guess the reason Ive joined the forum and have posted this is because its getting worse and not better and I'm at a point in my life where Im just launching my own business which will involve lots of meetings / sales pitches and interaction, and I need to get this handled. It feels as though Its damaging my life in many areas and its holding me back from being comfortable in my own skin. The worst thing about it all is , that I'm actually a very confident and outgoing guy with a lot of potential as a businessman (i would like to think) but every time I have a major blushing episode it knocks my confidence and self esteem more than any of my friends or family could ever understand. Ive been using betablockers for meetings and certian situations for the last year which has helped but its not allways effective and I dont like to take them too often as It means I cant go to the gym and it also messes with my mind a bit and puts me in a bit of a daze. Ive just ordered some clonidine online and Am going to try this on its own first and then potentially with Inderal. What are peoples verdicts on Clonidine compared with Inderal? I will post results up in a week or 2. I'm already toying with the idea of ETS and I think if things dont start to get better in the next few months its something I will seriously look at although I am aware of the risks. Anyway sorry to bore you all with my story but kinda wanted to get some of that off my chest! Thanks for reading! - Jaxx
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