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MIKE

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    Boxing, MMA, Music

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  1. thanks so much i felt very inspired reading your post, im currently seeing a hypnotherapist who takes a very religious approach to her work, i feel much better less depressed and i know i have to do whatever it takes to beat this thing, when i have the time il read the article it sounds very interesting, but i have to go get ready to see the therapist take care and god bless
  2. MIKE

    2010

    Thanks alot thats good to know because im seeing a hypnotherapist right now she takes a ver religious approach, I still feel very concerned about the blushing but i also feel more motivated to keep going and try to get help..worst case senario i have to use dermacolor to cover it, sure beats medication and certainly ETS with all the side affects that could happen thanks Mike
  3. the hypnotherapy is going o.k i still feel like the blushing is an issue but im gonna keep trying and see what happens as for the melanotan if it worked id consider it, although im a little weary of injecting stuff into my stomach, and using tanning beds because where i live its winter most of the year i dont want to have to cover it up but if worst comes to worst i might have to no one seems to agree that the derma color would help i think it would as its sweatproof water proof and is used to hide birth marks scars and horrible disfigurations of the skin im gonna keep trying with the hypnotherapist, like i said i dont even know how much i bush but i always worry about it and feel nervouss and people commenting dosent help thanks Mike
  4. im going to see a hypnotherapist tommorow to try to get some help for myself because i do belive for me i have social anxiety disorder that relates to the fear of blushing, and hypnotherapy has cured this before, i got in touch with 2 close friends last night who were very compassionate and understood why ive dropped of the face of the earth, they said they never remember me blushing they just remember me getting tense and quiet sometimes..people have pointed out that your blushing before to me and that i looked nervouss and ive felt very nervouss in so many situations i shouldnt have felt nervouss in and it made life very hard i cant sit in a room with even family for fear i will blush or act nervouss infront of them, i think somehow in my mind i made up that blushing might be the reason why i was always feeling nervouss, i see other people on tv who act nervouss and i thought omg is that what i look like i dont want to look like that, i blamed smoking for my nervoussness i thought mabey im not healthy ive thought i was going crazy, ive thought i was negative, no matter what i changed i was always uncomftorable i was always worried i would blush, so i discovered fake tanning thought the blushing couldnt be seen and was fine u guys know the story but ive looked up social anxiety more and ive had all the feelings described aswell as the fear of blushing the hypnotherapist preyd with me on the phone the other day and i felt a millon times better not like my problem was solved but im motivated again to do whatever it takes to get help and live the way i want, being the happy confident person i want to be, the strong boxer who lives with no fear and i think this hypnotherapist might help me do that and like my good friend said last night worst case scenario is the hypnotherapy dosent help, buy the derma color put it on and live, if the blushing bothers me that much and i cant get over it who cares if u have to wear somthing for confidence, he said at least ive admitted i have a problem i am in a hole hiding from friends ive felt so hopeless and overwhelmed by all of this i did almost give up, but do i really want to see a phyciatrist and go for phyc evals the rest of my life and be on medication.. no i dont considentaly the friend i talked to is also going through phycology in school and is learning about hypnotherapy and he said he belives it will be my cure, if they can make someone not allergic to cats no longer anymore im sure they can cure whatever this problem is that i have, social anxiety blushing phobia whatever now i have the lord on my side im hoping this hypnotherapy will be my cure and if not i have the derma color i can buy which by the way i can sweat and swim and box with it on, things look brighter already i belive this problem is silly but i still cant get over it, i think if i didnt have the problem i would think its silly but i do have it so now i have to do what i can to not have it i used to walk into the cd store and be so nervousss and in my own head that id leave without my c.ds or id walk by and if there were people in there id just walk threw the mall, actually going to the counter to pay was hell even when no one else was in there, i didnt know why i felt this way i knew it was ridiculous but i couldnt shake the feeling going to work was hell id wear a hooded sweaters and litsen to my mp3 player to avoid talking when i didnt have to, i had no social life id only go to jam on guitar with my friend but could never play for people not because we werent good but because i couldnt, i had to quit because that wasent fair to him there are many examples of wht ive felt but all i know is when i knew i couldnt blush they all went away, i dont know whats wrong with me but hopefully the hypnotherapist will and if it dosent help i have a back up plan so its either one or the other then its working on getting my friends back getting a job and loving my life loving being happy knowing that this is a thing of the past i hope u will all wish me luck, and keep me in ur prayers, and be supportive of my decision because this has ruined me but now im gonna do wht it takes to get help and i dont think it has to be meds, im not insullting anyone who chooses that path but its just not the way for me again wish me luck Mike
  5. I like everyone else on here has lost thier life to this condition, last year at this time i was coming home from a long stay at my grandparents, discovering tanners and tinted moisturizers I thought... thats it i have my life back, i went out alot, enjoyed life then i realized i might be oargnge sometimes in certain lightings so i decided to move onto tanning beds and after months in the cancer chamber barley any color was noticable, i was back to square one i couldnt be comfortable around people again, all this suffering then i thought i found a way out, I lost my mind when i went back to square 1, thats it i thought, i contimplated suicide, what were people saying about me when i was tanning..behind my back oh look at the oarnge, ive made a mess of my life, i was at home 1 minute on facebook hanging out with friends meeting new friends, liong free now back to square 1 ive belived ive had social anxiety disorder, genralized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, major deppression, paranoid schitso,nervouss system problems, heart problems breathing problems, lung problems, and this blushing problem phobia thing ive been away from home hiding out between my moms and my grandmothers for 6 months now wasting money on tinted moisturizers taning lotions, i have no money no friends and no social life whatsoever so ive decided to write down everything, everything ive thought ive had the way i fee,l my possible solutions, anything thats happened in the past 23 years that might have caused this then im gonna call keromask, dermacolor, dermablend and get a consultaion and once i have one that works im going to go to this hypnotherapist who claims she can cure me in 2 hours for 150 dollars im skeptical but il try anything at this point i do belive for me it is a phobia anxiety problem, what makes matters worse for me is i have to get better so i can be in boxing, which makes trying to find a makeup and keep it on a real headache plus being a guy always worried if someone will notice, will it come off when boxing sweating etc, im not willing to sacrafice boxing to this, no way at all, then i think about other strong men in boxing what would they do in my situatio,n it makes me depressed because i dont feel like a strong man, i feel like a pussy whos afraid to blush so now i have 3 problems finding a solution to this problem so i can go back out again and be my confident self then getting a job and then trying to explain to my friends why i dropped off the face of the earth without telling them im afraid to blush and it makes me paranoid, if the hypnotherapist dosent work im going to a doctor or a phyciatrist im not gonna be 40 years old living with my mom thinking i could have been in a band i could have been a boxer i could have had a nice job nice house nice girlfriend no way so who has the answer for me who knows what one works the best, how i can make it stay on when being hit in the face dermacolor... dermoblend who knows if hypnotherapy works will seeing aphyciatrist help id rather kill myself then let this go on, i cant go on like this so its back to my grandmas to write everything down and call all these people does anyone know if u can get a consultaion for dermacolor or dermablend in canada, i want it done proffesionally so i know the color matches, does anyone know if it looks completely naturall, and would it be possible to be hit again and again and not have irt come off all i know is im giving myself 2 more months to figure this sh** out and find somthing, my life is wasting away over this sh**, thats it thats all somthing has to work i also feel wierd weraing that stuff wanting to be a boxer and suppose to be tough i can think off a 100 ways that could go bad if i was found out but i might not have any choice so anyone who knows anything message me back asap im leaving tommorow to my grandparents thanks so much mike
  6. ok so heres the link to this supposedly natural looking tattoo conceale,r im sick of using fake tanners with different results to hide the blushing, mabey this would be better as exerdface said, anyone whos interested let me know what u think because this looks like the dream product for a blusher http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P231113
  7. MIKE

    Melanotan

    how does this stuff work do u still have to use a tanning bed or do u just inject it and then it tans u also i heard it turns ur hair and beard black, how long does the tan last from it do u have to use it all the time thanks mike
  8. MIKE

    blush

    i cant imagine going to college until this problem is solved, i can barley even leave the house avoid all my friends just read some of my other posts, i blush but for me its more the nervouss behaviour in the prescence of others because im worried about it happening, fidgety, rapid eye movement, nervouss body language, panicking when the attentions on me fast heart beat when i know the blushing cant be seen this all goes, away strange isnt it so for now i will use the tanner until i find a solution, im gonna litsen to the hypnosis track and see what happens i may move onto a hypnotherapist who claim they can cure this in 2 3 hour long sessions or somthing like that for me the hard thing alot is theres times when i know im blushing but because i feel hot and flushed all the time its hard to tell so how do u stop somthing u dont even know is happening, mabey i have social anxiety disorder but im in denial but i still dont understand how if i know i cant be seen blushing it goes away i dont want to use meds because i dont like the side affects and i really dont want to have ets, but sometimes i think if ets would make me never have to worry problem would be solved, but id rather learn to control it another way check out my post is what im doing wrong it explains exactly how i feel i also have laughed and cried and pleaded with god to eliminate whatever this thing is from my life, ive lost alot of faith over this, but im hoping to help myself somehow
  9. hey no problem im really hoping it works to so far so good i could be a little bit darker still but thats the beauty of this one u can supposedly control how dark u get, just talk to the representative about any questions u have, thier vey helpfull im gonna use this for however long i need until i find a more permanent solution, im going up camping so im gonna try litsening to my hypnosis track every night and morning to see if it will change my mental state about blushing i might also book a just be well hypnotherapist for some sessions, id like to be able to control this mentally as more of a permanent solution then hiding behind tanners and make ups for the time being i see 2 other options this tanner or that kat von D concealer that is supposedly very hard to notice and will hid the blushing, u could email sephora about the product and ask any questions u have to them thanks Mike
  10. MIKE

    V-Beam

    HI Davo...welcome im very intersted in the v beam thing to just wondering what it is and how it could help or eliminate blushing, i dont even know if i suffer from severe blushing but i sure have a fear of it happening, i dont know how to explain it but before when i wore tanners and knew it couldnt be seen i was fine, its the nervouss behaviour with me the rapid eye movment the fidgety lack of eye contact the nervouss body language, it all dissapears when i know the blushing cant be seen, its like if i know i can blush i have social anxiety disorder, if its covered im fine, i dont like people seeing me like that im looking for a permanent solutionn to i thought about wearing makeup but im in the same boat as u about that, for now im gonna wear the fake tanners, im going up camping so im gonna litsen to a self hypnosis track every night and every morning that i got with the stop blushing cure program hoping it will work, i might try to get into a just be well hypnotherapsit anything to stop this problem permanently so i dont have to screw with self tanners and make up and such anymore i want to live free from this, u can read my posts under blushing and see just how much this has ruined me especially the post called is what im doing wrong and the truth about my condition if this v beam stuff would end blushing forever id do it im thinking about ets but i think also its a mental problem and il try anything else first before i take that option let me know more about the v beam and by the way there is a kat von D tattoo concealer that supposedly is very unnoticable and will hide the blushing u could email sephora and ask them about it, might give u some relief until u find a more permanent solution thanks mike
  11. Well the more people i talk to the more im convinced this is wrong what im doing, My goal was to either find an ultra dark tanner or makeup that had all the qualities i was looking for not noticeable can be wore while boxing, being hit, sweating, swimming so lets say my adonia bronzing serum arrives it gets me as dark as i need to be its perfect i cant blush threw it, or lets say i find the perfect makeup like i described, can i really use these things forever and they are a mask im using to hide a phobia, tanners are to give someone a tan to feel a little better or in the summer for someone who cant tan, makeup is to make girls feel more pretty hide minor skin flaws, il have to use these things forever people keep suggesting do these things then when u start to get more comftorable u wont need to anymore, well from what ive said beofore thats not the case the second i thought i couldnt find a good tanner and then the tanning beds werent working i slipped huge went from mr social happy man back to nervous wreck afraid to go out when i was tanning with the lotions before people would make comments ask if i was tanning i said no its just tanning lotion i like using it, but i was really using it to cover this problem, then as STUCKWITHME said i began obssesing when i couldnt find any tanners, i freaked i thought great now im never gonna be able to be confident again and now theyl bug me oh not tanning anymore and now il blush il panic il be the exact way i was before now im trying to find away like before to kinda get my skin a dark tone then keep it that way so it just becomes my natural tone almost not like oh hes tanning more like hes always that color i might be able to do this with adonia but like i said can i really do this forever, yes it beats meds, yes it beats ets, but its still a mask its still somthing il need to go out of the house to have friends to box to do everything, to live life what happens if im on a boxing trip, what happens if im living with roomates what happens if i run out and cant get more what happens if i have no where to order yes they said i can get dark and stay that color all year but i just worry about these things dark tan= social happy fun loving enthusiastic ,loves being the centre of attention, loves being around people no tan= anti social nervouss, isolated, sad, depresse,d lonley afraid of people so thats about it i guess, i dont know what to do, the second i even hear someone coming in the apartment like my uncle or aunt, heart starts racing, racing thoughts begin, i start shaking,i can feel heat, on my face thats how scared i am that il blush infront of people, if theres a dark tan or sunburn and i know when i blush it cant be seen coming threw im the exact opposite what a strange condition this is id never wish it on my worst enemy, like i said i dont know what to do im on my last legs, i dont think cbt or a councellor or anything like that would help either i know how to act i know how to be social just as long as i know i cant blush, and i refuse to go on meds cause really wouldnt that be the same as the tanners anyway only with side affects so it looks like im gonna have to spend 31 dollars a month and be dark for the rest of my life to have the life i want, but like i said the things above are really bother me whatch folks il go from confident fun loving,super social,ladies man fearless boxer to i cant look u in the eyes paranoid i gotta run away and hide, scared, nervouss wreck, now lets just wait till my fake tan wears off and ul see the transformation
  12. Well the more people i talk to the more im convinced this is wrong what im doing, My goal was to either find an ultra dark tanner or makeup that had all the qualities i was looking for not noticeable can be wore while boxing, being hit, sweating, swimming so lets say my adonia bronzing serum arrives it gets me as dark as i need to be its perfect i cant blush threw it, or lets say i find the perfect makeup like i described, can i really use these things forever and they are a mask im using to hide a phobia, tanners are to give someone a tan to feel a little better or in the summer for someone who cant tan, makeup is to make girls feel more pretty hide minor skin flaws, il have to use these things forever people keep suggesting do these things then when u start to get more comftorable u wont need to anymore, well from what ive said beofore thats not the case the second i thought i couldnt find a good tanner and then the tanning beds werent working i slipped huge went from mr social happy man back to nervous wreck afraid to go out when i was tanning with the lotions before people would make comments ask if i was tanning i said no its just tanning lotion i like using it, but i was really using it to cover this problem, then as STUCKWITHME said i began obssesing when i couldnt find any tanners, i freaked i thought great now im never gonna be able to be confident again and now theyl bug me oh not tanning anymore and now il blush il panic il be the exact way i was before now im trying to find away like before to kinda get my skin a dark tone then keep it that way so it just becomes my natural tone almost not like oh hes tanning more like hes always that color i might be able to do this with adonia but like i said can i really do this forever, yes it beats meds, yes it beats ets, but its still a mask its still somthing il need to go out of the house to have friends to box to do everything, to live life what happens if im on a boxing trip, what happens if im living with roomates what happens if i run out and cant get more what happens if i have no where to order yes they said i can get dark and stay that color all year but i just worry about these things dark tan= social happy fun loving enthusiastic ,loves being the centre of attention, loves being around people no tan= anti social nervouss, isolated, sad, depresse,d lonley afraid of people so thats about it i guess, i dont know what to do, the second i even hear someone coming in the apartment like my uncle or aunt, heart starts racing, racing thoughts begin, i start shaking,i can feel heat, on my face thats how scared i am that il blush infront of people, if theres a dark tan or sunburn and i know when i blush it cant be seen coming threw im the exact opposite what a strange condition this is id never wish it on my worst enemy, like i said i dont know what to do im on my last legs, i dont think cbt or a councellor or anything like that would help either i know how to act i know how to be social just as long as i know i cant blush, and i refuse to go on meds cause really wouldnt that be the same as the tanners anyway only with side affects so it looks like im gonna have to spend 31 dollars a month and be dark for the rest of my life to have the life i want, but like i said the things above are really bother me whatch folks il go from confident fun loving,super social,ladies man fearless boxer to i cant look u in the eyes paranoid i gotta run away and hide, scared, nervouss wreck, now lets just wait till my fake tan wears off and ul see the transformation
  13. well i asked a girl on youtube about the Kat Von Ds product she said it will defenitley be noticable and that it will for sure come off when being hit boxing, she said because its full coverage it will be noticable that im wearing makeup, so i guess now its trying to find an ultra dark self tanner kind of a bummer because i was kinda thinking the Kat von D product would be the life saver but im glad she was honest about it tho
  14. oh yeah i did message sephora about the product still waiting for a reply tho
  15. funny thing is the second i know its covered i will smile i will go out and try new things i will do the things u mentioned above except telling them now its just to try to find the right product that has the qualities i mentioned above either the tanner or the makeup and if i have to use them forever so be it its just im in the stage of finding the one so once i do i never have to look back
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