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hyperballad

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  1. Nah. I say get it done every day whether you do it yourself or someone does it for you.
  2. I agree, I don't think ANY drugs should be used, even in the short term. I hate them. But I don't care anymore. I'm such a huge loser now I'm okay with destroying my body with drugs. I tried to get a prescription for Propranolol but my doctor won't give it without seeing me first. So I guess I'll make an appointment tomorrow. I'll need to take my last Propranolol before the doctor visit to keep cool while I'm there asking for a prescription for Propranolol. How crazy is that! If I get the pills I will most likely only use them in an emergency. I took one last week because I started to feel myself getting uneasy. I don't know what it is but I can tell right away if I'm going to have an "incident" during the day. So I took the pill and fortunately didn't have any blushing. Since then I've been fine, but any day I'll get that feeling again and it's very easy for something to trigger a full on tomato face. Compared to taking drugs, the nerve pinching surgery seems to be MUCH more dangerous from what I've read. I don't see myself ever doing that.
  3. Strange. Wish I had the same experience. Unfortunately I've been vegan for 10 years and the blushing is forever the same. In fact, many times I have blushed when someone asks me about my diet. Talking about myself is a super trigger for violet face. So I can't say that an herbivore diet prevents blushing but I still encourage you all to consider a vegan diet for ethical reasons.
  4. I tried allergy pills a few times; one was Claritin and the other Zyrtec, but they didn't help at all with redness (or allergies). Today I tried Propranolol and it made me feel slow and drowsy for a few hours, so I think that might be somewhat effective. It kept my pulse down and I didn't feel any anxiety. It made me not care about anything really. It was about the same as having alcohol for me. I only have a few pills so I'll save those for another more stressful situation and see how it goes. Hopefully it's effective even if it only lasts 2 hours and I'll try to get a prescription. I hate taking drugs but something has to be done!
  5. Wow that's tough. This really hits close to home. Not only do I understand exactly how he must have felt but he looks like me too. I'll admit that I've wanted to die many many times over the years, but not by suicide. I suppose I still have too much pride.
  6. Sounds like me exactly. My work environment is the same, maybe worse sometimes, and my feelings are the same as yours. Funny thing is that last year I finally got out of retail customer service/sales after 6 years partly to avoid interacting with people. Now I can go a whole day not saying a word to anyone if I try, but that makes me anxious and self conscious. Sucks. I should be a truck driver instead. Scarface: As I am nearly 30 years old and living as a manchild, I am seriously considering using drugs to treat my problem. Is it really 95% with prozac? Have you been using it for a while to know for sure? I've tried the allergy pills others recommended on this site but those do nothing. (They don't even help with my allergies!) If I can take a prozac pill and maintain a pasty white complexion all day that would be fantastic. I never use any drugs but life has not improved on its own so maybe it's time. That's great that you're getting through college. I hope you are enjoying it. I completed college but I have negative feelings about it. It was a somewhat painful experience and I wish I didn't have social phobia/blushing. I struggled every day for years and when it was finally over I didn't feel like I accomplished anything. I still don't. I'm awfully bitter about it. Sorry now I'm just rambling
  7. I made it through high school and college and nearly every day was horror. Sorry I wish I could say "it gets better" or "just be yourself!" or give some other stupid advice but the harsh reality is that you will probably blush sometimes. Oh well. Sucks but it is what it is. Even though I completed a 4 year degree at a university with a high GPA, my overall experience was TREMENDOUSLY affected by blushing. There are SO many things I would have liked to do differently if I didn't have that problem. But oh well I tried my best so I don't dwell on it. Alright on to the questions: How do you manage with group projects? No problem for me here. Not sure why but with a small group I don't have any problems usually. I always hated group projects but for other reasons. If you have trouble in small groups then try taking the lead from the start. If you sit there staring at the floor then eventually some a****** will say something like "well gosh aren't you quiet!" which will probably cause a rush of warm plasma to your face. Being asked questions in class? Sit front and center. Then when asked a question no one can see you except for the instructor who will usually be right in front of you so really it's one on one at that point. For classrooms with those stupid layouts where everyone faces each other you're screwed. Oral presentations/debates? Know your material and practice it fully over and over. If you know exactly what you're talking about and you can speak loud and clear without any hesitation then you can go into autopilot, not giving yourself even a second to feel doubt or fear. Try to make it as quick as possible and most importantly, look at everyone in the audience. Do not look down. Reading with your head down is the worst thing to do. Keep constant eye contact but keep moving. Somehow keeping eye contact with as many people as you can at once makes you feel in control. Also by doing this you'll notice that maybe only 1/4 of the class is actually looking at you at any time. If you can get away with a power point presentation in a dark room then you are set. Always try this first. Debates seem tough at first but having that other person up there with you alleviates the pressure of people staring at only you. Again, know the material inside and out. You really need to know exactly what you're doing here and know what to expect. Any faltering and you'll end up glowing. Do you try to make friends or do you keep to yourself in class because you don't want to trigger blushing episodes? Having friends helps. If you keep to yourself and you are the only one not talking then you are asking for big trouble. As soon as someone addresses you your face will be on fire. At the least make some people think that you're normal. It takes effort (at least for me) but I am pretty damn good at pretending to be open and friendly. Lots of cheesy smiles, loud voice, and careful intonation. Eventually people figure out that I'm an antisocial creep but by that point we're already familiar so I don't care and won't have any facial explosions. Where do you sit, in the front or the back of the class? Front and Center. Every time. Besides, how can you concentrate on anything in the back when you can see all of those stupid teenagers typing on their telephones during a class?
  8. Sorry to tell you but if your face feels burning hot then yes, it looks like it too. Even more so if you have light skin. I've seen my reflection many times during an "incident" and it is NOT PRETTY. Deep violet from collarbone to hairline. Looks like I should receive immediate medical attention. I can feel the blood start to rush in from the side of my neck and at that point, if I can stop it, it doesn't look too horrible. Just a little flushed on the cheeks and neck. But still noticeable for sure unlike the fellow on the sports interview. And if I can't get out of the situation fast, or even worse, if someone comments on my tone-changing skin, all that blood quickly fills my entire head. The pressure is so intense that my forehead throbs and burns worse than a bad sunburn. The blood swells around my eyes and makes it difficult to keep my eyes open fully and it makes me blink rapidly. So yeah, more than noticeable. People stop laughing at that point...... :cry: Well, hopefully your "incidents" aren't so intense. Usually when I see other people have their incidents the redness is kept to the cheeks and parts of the forehead and is not a big deal really. But if you're light skinned and you feel like your brain is boiling then people will definitely notice. Fun isn't it! You really should look in a mirror next time you max out like that. It's quite alarming the first time you see it. Looks painful (and it is, physically AND emotionally).
  9. Thanks for the tip. I'll definitely need to track down some claritin. Anyone know of any non-gelatin claritin capsules?
  10. Scarface, I know where you're coming from. I too have reached a point in my life where something needs to be done. I've lived with the pain of fear/anxiety/blushing/social phobia all of my life but now something has to happen. It's too painful. I found out about ETS on the web several years ago but dismissed it as too risky and not worth the possible side effects. I read a blog from a guy who, after ETS didn't blush as bad anymore, had many side effects and a long recovery period. I thought that such an irreversible surgical operation to stop blushing was excessive. And so I accepted the fact that I can't cure blushing and since then have lived in fear and avoided many social situations. But here I am. At age 26, I have few friends, have never had a girlfriend, I avoid talking to people, and everyday is a struggle to get through work and school. Last week I decided that I MUST do something and even after hearing about the negative consequences, I too am considering either taking drugs or having the ETS operation. However, just as VickyGirl said, I have to ask myself, "What if the surgery doesn't work? Then what will I do?" An equally, if not more important question is, "What IF my face cannot turn red anymore? What if I physically can NEVER blush again? Will my entire life change? Will everything be perfect? Will all of my fears, anxieties, and phobias vanish? Will I be able to talk to people comfortably and meet new people? Will I be able to achieve great success in life?" The point I want to make here is that we both need to think about whether or not blushing is really the problem here, or if it's something else. If we cure our blushing, are we TRULY cured? As I type this, I recall all of the people who I've met or seen who have similar, or indeed worse, problems than I have in regards to social anxiety. How many people have we all seen who were absolutely terrified when they have to speak in front of an audience, and are visibly shaking and look as though they may cry? Or how about the kid in my high school who fainted during his speech, or the girl in my college class who fled the room during a speech because she couldn't breath, or the girl in another class who was scared so bad she couldn't say a SINGLE WORD during her debate and after a few minutes fled the room. And then there's the guy at my work who doesn't have any friends, has never been on a date, has a complete lack of social skills and is routinely harassed and criticized by others. What do all of these people I have described have in common? None of them blush!!!! So, scarface, maybe after you have the surgery you will be able to return to work with confidence, stand up to those who have hurt you, return to school, earn a degree, and have many more successes in life because your face doesn't glow red. I honestly, truly hope that this is the case, and if it turns out this way for you I'll be next in line for surgery. But you may want to seriously think about whether or not blushing is the problem, or if you have another problem that is holding you back. As for me, I am quickly coming to the conclusion that even if my face never turned red again, I will still have many social problems to face that may not be any easier even without blushing. The problems that we face are common for many people; many people who never blush. Nevertheless, I am still researching medical options for blushing because I need to take action now, and I don't know what else to do. Please keep me updated on your progress and let me know what you think about what I've written here. I sincerely hope that we can both figure this out together.
  11. I've never considered visiting a doctor for facial blushing. I've always considered it a purely psychological phenomenon. Lately I've been thinking I should take some action for treatment, but I don't know where I would go. Like you said, I would expect a doctor or dermatologist to examine my body for some disease that causes skin to flare up, and at the most maybe the doctor would give me some prozak or whatever for my anxiety and depression, and tell me to move on. I could go to a psychologist but I don't see that being useful either. Simply talking to someone isn't going to help. So now I'm thinking about trying some allergy medicine that others have had success with. But I've never taken medication and I really don't like the idea of using any drugs. And then there's that surgery that I've read about for years. But it doesn't sound like it's completely effective and also leaves you with other health problems. So, because of my skepticism toward treatment, I've just struggled through my blushing problem. And every year or so I'll have such a terrible experience that I'll go home and scan the web for hours only to be let down again. But now I REALLY need something. So my first step is to start posting on this forum. Hopefully someone can share not only their experience with doctors but with psychologists as well.
  12. hyperballad

    Jobs

    I can't even think about what I want to do because of my fears. I have yet to finish college (age 26) partly because of my social phobia. I don't know what type of profession I want to be in. It's a struggle for me just to get through each day. I'll be graduating this spring, but I don't have any prospects. I thought about grad school, but I don't see the point in continuing my education if it just makes me miserable. I thought by age 26 I wouldn't have blushing and anxiety.
  13. That's good. But for me, I want to continue being just the way I am, sans the red face. I don't value being outspoken and quick to share ideas. I'm quite comfortable being reserved. I want to emphasize the adjective "reserved", which is different from quite or shy, both of which have negative connotations. I am comfortable reserving my comments and speaking only when I have something truly valuable to contribute. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to to be outspoken to not be self-conscious and shy. But maybe you are right. Maybe deep down I am someone else, someone who laughs out loud and eagerly contributes to group discussions, and all this time I've been holding back, hiding. Sometimes I do wish I was a bit more out-going, but is that the real me? I'll have to think about this one.
  14. Claritin is the same as Kestine? Didn't know that..Claritin is much easier to get, isn't it? But anyway, thanks for the response. However, I'm looking for the full list of ingredients listed on the label. I saw a list online for a generic (I think) brand of Kestine which included gelatin and lactose, which I don't want. So I'm looking for a non-animal product kestine (yes, I'm one of those crazy vegans )
  15. Well.....although this isn't necessarily a good thing to do, you could try "turning the tables" and putting that guy on the spot. Point out his faults, insult him, and make sure others are listening. Or even if no one is around make sarcastic and rude comments to him. These are not exactly the qualities of a good person, but acting rude and arrogant is effective (I've done it many times myself and talked about this in a post yesterday). Invalidating others to boost yourself is a horrible thing to do, but it does work... Or if you would rather not be a despicable person, you could just walk up to the guy and start talking to him as if nothing ever happened. Be nice and ask him questions. Then he'll become more vulnerable and less likely to want to hurt you. I don't know what age you or this guy are, but it sounds like maybe you're in high school? Try talking to the guy with serious but friendly tone. Show him that you are mature and that you don't even care about blushing before.
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